*sighs!* i need to be stronger. D: & LORD BUDDHA give me guidance. these sufferings did i brought upon myself? it seems as though, the whole situation seem partly my fault too. is it too late to revive? OMG... what is holding back? LOVE? NEEDS? HURTS? i am unsure too. the 6 years really brought us far. & are we both trying hard to catch up for the 6 years? if only, i could rewind time. it is just the words of if only. now i should think of solutions to solve the situations but not dwelling on it now. i am pushing myself to be stonger because i know BUDDHA has given me the strenght and faith too. he brought me happiness and i should share this joy & happiness around. being selfish, keeping everything to oneself will just bring oneself to non where. this year i shall mug till i drop dead. for this marriage, i will hold on. i will numb myself.