hmmmm. next week everyday, my whole afternoon is packed. i'm gonna teach her everyday afternoon except THURS! gosh! gonna have less time with my friends but all is worth it just for her. just hope this sacrificial wouldnt happened any NEGATIVE stuff. on that day when i went up to stage to receive the prize, it was mixed feeling. as what happened on 080907, i will reflect back on my PRELIMS results. is it really worth getting these kind of results when i sacrifice the friends around me. whenever i looked at my prelims results, my whole heart will sink & i dont feel any happiness though it's really HARDWORK. it's the incident that make me feel that friends are important & thanks to him for that hurting yet enlightening sentence... i really missed you, friend. all my memories around will be link back to you but i know it's time to let you go. 1 sentence for you:'ya really a great friend!'. i'm happy for both you. slowly it will return back to the past. when i was the last one who came to know about the meeting, i was quite dissappointed in you 2. the feeling was quite devasted. & i got to convince myself that i have had return to the past. in the past it's always like this? just liked in her heart, i'm just somebody else; no matter what. somehow i thought back how much shit we gone through together for the 1 month+ & that's was the only thing that really convinced me to forget it & pretend as if nothing happen. though we sisters but it seems that most stuff, i will be the last 1 to know, agree? anyway a CHEERS to our friendship ahead! her mouth got to be great big?! make the matter so big. i only confronted BILL & told him everything but SHE really let the whole family know?! just now when went dinner with part of BILL's family. gosh! i was abit stunned in the beginning but i think i got to get use to it? i almost lost appetite due to some stuff. i really hate this silence suffering but i really got to keep everything to myself to avoid TROUBLES, QUARRELS, CONFLICTS & etcs... & it's REALLY DEEP SUFFERING... i believe BUDDHA is always with me to bless me. the triple jems will always enlighten me to ease my suffering. hmmmm... i'm pondering whether suffering in silence really worth it for us?! after what CJ told me in the bus today, i was quite stunned but somehow it let me thought back that FRIENDS ARE REALLY MORE IMPORTANT! then i also came to know some stuff. just kept thinking on the way in the bus whether BILL & ME will end up in this tragic?! BREAKUPs really happens so fast that me, myself as an outsider also cant take it. the longer we go, it's more difficult to part. it really takes tremedous courage to face a situation liked this. i salute to those people who can get over it. JAS, MANDY & CJ, stay strong! be with you peeps. something nice will be here to take away the misery. C: be with me always, will you? Y

Labels: reflections