gosh! just keep remembering what tito told me yesterday. 'to me vacation is to go everywhere & enjoy but not staying in the shop' anywhere i dont really have the mindset of coming here to enjoy but to visit my mum. now thinking back what has happened, just felt that i shouldn't have even come in the first place but now at least i know how my mum feels for this 2 years. that night though too much of stuff until i want to commit suicide but i just stay strong. feel so useless. cant do much but only be a listening ear. maybe that's enough. last night uncle mike told me to tolerate with his nonsense & stuff since i'm going back soon. he also told me to have a heart to heart talk with my mum to encourage her to come back to s'pore but i know she simply wouldnt coz she told me she left nothing in s'pore. no job, house etc. from that point i totally understood. i told myself, the next time i come back here will be the time, i bring my mum back to enjoy her old age. feel so lonely when i'm here. only tito antony & da wei truely knows that i really dont feel happy when i'm here. should be thankul to buddha that i still have tito antony & da wei beside me.