full of shits. i though i TOTALLY over come my hatred for my step-father but it seems that it come & goes everyday over here in philippines. the day before my step-father tried to show me attitude so i played along with him. he though that it was the same old me during primary school days, a never grow up kid who is always throwing temper around. not within his expectation, i was totally different what he expected me to be. somehow i wondered why my mum cant leave him but the simple reason is where she's gonna stay, work, etc; when she going back to s'pore. my step-father's intention is to stay here for this life, reire here, die here so i know coming here isnt a decision i should regret of. telling him to go back to s'pore is equals to taking his life away. he would always reply 'telling me to go back to s'pore might as well take my life away';'icant do much in s'pore & now here you right telling me to go back?'sometimes he would just have a row with my mum just coz of this matter. whatever he does, he doesnt feel contented. always asking for more & more. unlike in s'pore, he cant drive big cars, cant live in condominium, cant open coffee shop, cant have big business, cant go do something bad behind my mother's back like going for massage with extra service, womanizing, going nightclubs; after all these he is still not contented & telling my mum that he is doing all these for the family. he doesnt seems to be good for business as for past 10 over years, whatever business he does will eventually just flop & the consequences is owning pile of debts which my mum got to go look for money to help him clear the debts. when my mum is working in the airticket office, her top to toe worth minimum value of $5000 as whatever she wears are all branded stuff. a costumer who came to the coffee shop says 'are you sure ya the EVELYN that i know about 20 years back?' whenever we go for any function, parties or doing introduction, my step-father & mother, will always tell people that they have 3 daughters; [[CHERYL,CALISTA,CLARISSA]]. yeah, being in the middle isnt something nice. my step-father dont wanna let CHERLY know that he 'remarry' my mum and have a kid called CLARISSA as he was ashame & to CHERYL her dad is the best in her heart so he doesnt want to spoil the best image in her heart. my step father is a divorcee too. when he was with his first wife, she has a daughter who is CHERYL. for CLARISSA, her both parents are dirvorcee, she is only 7 which she doesnt understand a single thing at all about this complicated family matter & she doesnt even know that the family happiness that she have now is exchange with 2 family happiness. a indeed complicated family matter.whenever i see a happy out together, in heart i would just think how nice will it be if i have a complete family. the sadness feeling that i have now is beyond words. this complicate family cause me into a deep silent misery, afraid of many stuff in heart.